


Soundless

by meanderingmirth



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, Pacific Rim AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:17:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanderingmirth/pseuds/meanderingmirth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s more than one way to communicate once you get to know somebody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soundless

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a [ leobin drabble](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4057279/) I wrote before. I feel as though I'm kind of awkward with this pairing, but I'm gonna try and write a story regardless, LOL (‘▿’ʃʃ
> 
> it's only slightly angsty, I promise~
> 
> enjoy!

Hongbin had just stumbled out of the gym, sweaty and pleasantly sore after a long workout on the machines when a round, spherical object came flying at him from the left hand side. Only flinching slightly in surprise, he caught it with both hands before it could hit his face.

He didn’t need to look up to know that Taekwoon was the one who’d tossed it from the spot against the wall he’d been leaning against, inadvertently terrorizing new trainees with his stoic stare as he waited for Hongbin.

Hongbin turned the object over, feeling the well-worn surface of Taekwoon’s soccer ball scraping over his palms as he registered the pointed look on Taekwoon’s face.

“Aw, Taekwoon, not now,” he whines. “I just finished a session and I’m achy as hell.”

Taekwoon just blinked at him as Hongbin walked over, expectant expression unchanging despite the obvious reluctance on Hongbin’s own face. The older man wasn’t wearing the standard uniform and was dressed in surprisingly casual wear for the day— old jeans, battered Converse sneakers, a plain white shirt with a caramel-coloured cardigan hanging loosely from his broad shoulders. The ever-present dog tags were tucked away beneath his clothes. Taekwoon almost never removed or put away his tags; it was a reminder, he’d told Hongbin once, of the responsibility they had as pilots to protect the city from the invasive Kaiju. Two thin pieces of metal dangling from a long chain had never felt heavier after that.

He turned the ball over in his palms, eyes roving over Taekwoon’s expression. There was a faint tightness to Taekwoon’s jaw and his shoulders were hunched over slightly. Even though the man slouched from time to time, he looked unnaturally tense right now, and Hongbin was already starting to mimic his co-pilot’s posture, realizing that something might be up.

“Let me go change first,” Hongbin offered, and Taekwoon’s eyes flashed as he nodded. He let Hongbin toss the soccer ball back before he fell into step next to him, strides matched for length and pace as they walked back to their shared room.

Their living quarters was both a chaotic and organized mixture of each other’s things. There was no definite boundary between the two of them, not after they’d gotten to know each other better. Personal belongings, clothes, equipment and training files overlapped on lines that existed yet seemed to melt seamlessly together— always pulling them closer, always chipping away at any kind of wall they’d put up for other people but have learned that there was no need to maintain between themselves.

Hongbin didn’t waste any time stripping out of his sweaty tank top and shorts, sighing in relief as he chucked the dirty clothes into the laundry basket. Behind him, he heard a soft snort, and Hongbin turned to raise an eyebrow at Taekwoon as he reached for a fresh t-shirt hanging off the back of his chair.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Nothing,” Taekwoon hummed, gesturing towards him. “We’re just wearing the same colour again.”

Hongbin looked down, staring at the pale blue shade of his underwear, and then flicked his gaze towards the waistband of Taekwoon’s pants before asking teasingly, “I didn’t know you had briefs in this colour?”

“Apparently I did,” Taekwoon shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and coordinating clothes by accident didn’t really surprise Hongbin as much as it used to anymore. If anything, a dumb coincidence like this was still amusing for the two of them. Throwing on a new shirt and pants, he grabbed a sweater and hurried out of the door after Taekwoon, but not before giving the other man a friendly punch in the arm.

They couldn’t leave the VIXX Dome— not when they’re the only two functioning Jaeger pilots in the whole place. The pressure was always there, and Hongbin very nearly sleeps with one eye open nowadays, the fear of a Kaiju attack always present and looming over him like a dark shadow. Hongbin knew Taekwoon hated this; hated that he’s always stuck in a constantly busy metal hub that’s thrumming with noise, movement and machinery. He worried about his family’s safety, and even though both of their immediate families had been relocated to safer areas inland long ago, Hongbin echoed the sentiment. He can’t imagine what his parents feel every time they see him go out in the Jaeger.

There was a stretch of empty rooftop over the main entrance hall, hidden away by large panels built into the side of the building, and Hongbin would’ve never known about the place had Taekwoon not brought him up there. It was accessible through an emergency exit and close enough that if any kind of alarm sounded, the two of them could quickly return back to base and suit up.

Taekwoon stepped out into fresh, salty open space first, shoulders lifting as he inhaled deeply. Hongbin followed, feeling the breeze toss his bangs away from his face. It was cloudy today, and the air smelled faintly of faraway rain. Gulls cawed somewhere in the distance, closer to the ports than the dome, as Taekwoon dropped the soccer ball onto the flat metal roof. Hongbin hovered a little ways away from the door, scuffing the toe of his shoes against the ground as Taekwoon rolled his ankle to warm up, and then moved to kick the ball his way.

“So what’s up?” Hongbin called, languidly shuffling over to trap the ball. “I can tell there’s something a little off.”

“I know you can tell,” Taekwoon replied softly. “You’re getting good at reading me.”

Something akin to pride fluttered in Hongbin’s chest at the words. It’s taken him a while to reach this point, starting off with awkward silences and fumbling sentences when the pair had been left alone. One on one activities had helped demolish that space between them when the Drift wasn’t there to connect their minds, and slowly but surely Hongbin learned to differentiate meaning behind the little ticks in Taekwoon’s expression, the small but endearing mannerisms that others constantly miss, and the emotions that flit behind Taekwoon’s dark eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Taekwoon watched the ball topple his way, expression vaguely thoughtful. “Maybe. Do you mind if we just play for a moment?”

“Sure,” Hongbin hummed. “Whatever you want.”

There was a half-smile on Taekwoon’s face as he kicked the ball back, and for the first time since they’d caught up with each other Hongbin could see the tautness ease out of the elder’s spine. They stayed quiet for a bit, taking in the sounds around them as they started up and impromptu game, jogging closer to each other as their legs met in a tangle over the ball. It felt like dancing (and they had taken dance lessons together to help with their synchronization before), except with less arms waving and hip movement. Playing a game was both predictable and a surprise when the power of leading and the notion of following had been melded together. Sometimes one of them would gain the upper hand, but then the other would retaliate and the balance would even out again. Push and pull, give and take; it was a process that moved so fluidly between them it was nearly impossible to differentiate where the tipping point was, if there was any at this point.

Taekwoon suddenly flicked the ball upward with a twitch of his ankle and Hgonbin caught it, twirling it around on the tip of his finger like a basketball. He could sense Taekwoon was ready to talk now.

“My nephew was born a few hours ago,” Taekwoon said lightly, and Hongbin perked up at the news.

“Wow, congratulations! You’re finally an uncle!”

Takewoon ducked his head, cheeks turning a little red, and he nodded his thanks. “He’s small, but he’s very healthy... my sister and brother-in-law are both in good spirits too. They called me to inform me of the news.”

“I’m glad,” Hongbin said, smiling and patting Taekwoon on the back. He would’ve thought the other man, excited as he had been about the news of him being an uncle months ago, to have a happier reaction, but perhaps this was the reason why Taekwoon seemed tense and a little down.

“You wish you were there with them, don’t you?” Hongbin asked quietly, and Taekwoon sucked in a breath, shoulder shuddering as he did.

“I just— I wish I could’ve been there,” he admitted, his voice almost lost in the noise of the sea as he spoke. “To have been with my sister, the rest of my family...”

Hongbin sighed, tucking the ball away under one arm and reaching over to wrap the other around Taekwoon’s shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I know how you feel. I miss my family too.”

Taekwoon looked up then, the lines of his face soft as he searched Hongbin’s face. “At times like these, I remind myself that everything I’m doing is for them,” he said. “That each Kaiju I take down is one less monster making its way towards my baby nephew, my family, and everybody else in the world.”

Hongbin gave a dry chuckle, rolling his shoulders back as he glanced out at the sea. “While everybody goes the other way we’re the crazy bastards that pop ourselves into a giant suit of armour and walk headlong into the hurricane.”

(He had other dreams once, half-formed ideas of going into the arts after graduating, hanging out with friends at home, maybe backpacking across countries sometime with friends, that all vanished the moment he realized he could pilot a Jaeger. Taekwoon knows this, and knows how much Hongbin missed those dreams sometimes).

“But you don’t regret it,” Taekwoon said, a statement rather than a question, and Hongbin sighed, nodding in agreement.

“I don’t regret a second of it,” he replied honestly.

As though the world was testing the resolve of his word, the drill alarm suddenly began to sound around the whole dome, starting off faint but growing in volume as everybody was notified of the crisis. Taekwoon’s eyes narrowed and he turned sharply, looking out towards the ocean again as Hongbin looked towards the helicopter pad. Technicians were already starting to run, everybody falling into action as the warning for another Kaiju appearance surfaced again.

“The frequency between the attacks,” Taekwoon muttered, mouth set into a deep frown now.

“They’re increasing,” Hongbin finished, and they glanced at each other.

“Let’s go,” Taekwoon said, and they turned as one, hurrying through the emergency door and down towards the Drivesuit Room.

+

“Good work, ROVIX,” Hakyeon’s voice sounded just as exhausted as Hongbin felt when he and Taekwoon staggered away from the charred, obliterated remains of the Category 3 Kaiju by the harbour of the city. The starlight canon was still humming on Taekwoon’s side of the Jaeger, blue-white light piercing through the rays of the setting sun as it powered down in sections. Hongbin was sweating all over again, and he groaned at the thought of how gross he must be at the moment. He was also feeling incredibly sleepy, which was actually Taekwoon’s thoughts at the moment, and Hongbin weakly tried to bat the idea from his head. He really didn’t want to fall asleep reeking of sweat.

“Chalk this one up as ROVIX’s eighth kill to date,” he called through the system, and heard Jaehwan laughing on the other side.

“Will do, Kong,” Hakyeon said, and he must’ve been in a particularly good mood if he was using Hongbin’s nickname while on the job. “We’re ready to bring you guys home.”

“Ten-four,” Hongbin nodded, and turned to Taekwoon, who looked like he was starting to doze off standing upright. “Hey, d’you hear that? Let’s go back.”

Taekwoon grunted, and Hongbin didn’t have to look to tell his co-pilot was nearly pouting at the thought of moving again. Unparalleled in skill and undefeated in technique he may be during a fight, but an uncooperative lump of drowsiness he was when Taekwoon wasn’t  _actually_  fighting. Giving Taekwoon a mental nudge to get going, the two of them began to trudge back through the sea towards the VIXX Dome, the heavy Jaeger slicing through the water with slow, unhurried movements.

When they finally stepped out of the Drivesuit Room, limbs free of their suits and shirts sticking to their sweaty chests and backs, Wonshik was waiting for them in the hallway next to the LOCCENT Control Room.

“Hey,” he greeted, and then held out a chunky satellite phone to Taekwoon. “Your family’s on the line,” he said, and Taekwoon’s eyes widened as he all but grabbed the phone out of Wonshik’s hand, pressing it quickly against his ear with a soft, “Hello?”

“Smooth moves out there,” Wonshik said, clapping a hand to Hongbin’s back as they moved down the hall to give Taekwoon some privacy. “Always knew that we’re in safe hands with you two around defending the shore.”

“High praise,” Hongbin grinned, wiping sweat off his brow. “When are you gonna join us in your Jaeger?”

“When they finally find me co-pilot, maybe,” Wonshik said, smiling fading from his face as they walked. “Which I hope is soon, to be honest.”

Wonshik was a bit of an odd case within the Defence Corps. He’d admitted, in the strictest confidence to Hongbin and Taekwoon and a select few others at the dome, that he there was a chance that he’d have a near perfect Drift compatibility rate with his younger sister. But Wonshik didn’t want to fight in a Jaeger with his sister, hadn’t wanted her to step into the storm and risk her life. His sister had never tested for compatibility with him, but if Wonshik couldn’t find another person to co-pilot with authorities might start to ask him to bring those close to him for a customary test— and Wonshik was nothing but close with his precious sister.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Hongbin said soothingly. “It took me even longer than you to find Taekwoon, they’re not gonna start sniffing around any time soon.”

(“I’m so selfish, aren’t I?” Wonshik had sobbed, sitting on Taekwoon’s bunk after he’d told them about his situation. Hongbin had an arm around him, quietly offering comfort as Taekwoon stood to the side, observing Wonshik with an unreadable expression. “All those people are dying out there, you guys are risking your life each time you get into that Jaeger, but here I am, trying to save my sister’s life by replacing her with someone else in that empty spot next to me in the hull.”

“Yes, you are,” Taekwoon had said, and Wonshik jerked like Taekwoon had physically hit him. But Hongbin knew Taekwoon wasn’t mad when he crouched in front of them, understanding evident in his eyes. “But aren’t we all? And isn’t this all we’re trying to do anyway? We just want to save those we care about at the expense of our own lives.”)

“I still want to get out there,” Wonshik muttered, slanting a look back at the control room, where hundreds of multi-coloured lights were going off on control panels and holograms rotated slowly, delivering and recording all sorts of information. Unseen to them, mounted on the wall, was the war clock, undoubtably reset again and counting down the time for the next Kaiju attack once more. “You’ve sensed it, haven’t you? They’re showing up more often. Soon we’re going to have a double event and ROVIX can’t be the only one fighting anymore.”

Hongbin winced, pulling a face. “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen, ever.”

“No kidding,” Wonshik sighed, dragged a palm across his mouth. They turned the corner, and Hongbin and Taekwoon’s room came into sight. “Anyway, I was going to head down and spar with Jaehwan for a bit before going to dinner.”

“Why are you sparring with our J-Tech Chief?” Hongbin asked, chortling at the thought of Jaehwan, who was all brains behind the main control board but had the elegance of a fish out of water in the gym, suddenly deciding to exercise with Wonshik.

“He just said he wanted to know what the pilots feel like when they fight,” Wonshik chuckled. “And don’t laugh! He’s actually getting pretty good. He says his goal is to take down Taekwoon in a fight one day.”

“Good luck with that,” Hongbin groaned, still feeling the pains of being thrown on his ass one too many times by his co-pilot. “I’ve fought with him for years now and the closest I’ve ever gotten to seeing Taekwoon on his butt in the sparring ring was when he decided to sit down on the training mat once. Tell Jaehwan he should aim a bit lower for the time being.”

“Can’t stop a man from dreaming,” Wonshik hummed. “Alright, I won’t hold you up from your shower, you really smell like you need it.”

“Thanks,” Hongbin grumbled, wrinkling his nose. “See you at dinner?”

“See ya,” Wonshik agreed, and they parted ways there.

The long-awaited spray of hot water down his back made Hongbin sigh with satisfaction, letting his head plunk against the cold tiles of the shower stall as he felt the water run down his back. He wished he could just stand under the shower head forever, watching everything spiral down the drain between his bare feet without any worry or fear, but he’s always hated getting pruny fingers. Ten minutes had felt like a satisfying amount time to spend standing under the onslaught of water, and once he’d dried off and changed into another set of clean clothes, Hongbin walked out of the bathroom to find Taekwoon lying face down on his bed.

The older man wasn’t asleep, but he was on his way to it, judging from the slow rise and fall of his back. Hongbin walked over and crouched down, placing a soft hand on the back of Taekwoon’s head. “Everything alright?” he asked, and Taekwoon turned his head until he could see Hongbin.

“Yeah,” Taekwoon murmured. “It was my sister and mother. They wanted to see if I was hurt or anything.”

“Did they see the fight on television?”

Taekwoon pursed his lips. “They did,” he muttered. “I wish they wouldn’t.”

“They only want to know that you’ve made it out alive,” Hongbin said, rubbing a soothing circular motion into the spot behind Taekwoon’s ear with his thumb. “I’m pretty sure things would be worse for them if they were kept in the dark while you went out.”

“I think one of my biggest fears is knowing that they might actually have to watch me die in the Jaeger,” Taekwoon frowned, clenching the hand that was lying next to his pillow shut.

“Well, that’s why we fight so hard,” Hongbin said, thinking of his parents sitting in front of the television at home, his sisters putting their jobs on hold with the rest of their co-workers to witness ROVIX charging through the waters to meet the Kaiju head-on. “We don’t want them to see us fall, right?”

Taekwoon made another noise before rolling over onto his back. He grabbed Hongbin’s wrist and tugged, and Hongbin was already moving up onto Taekwoon’s bed, shifting so that they could lie side by side as best as two fully grown men could on a singles bed could. Squeezed between the two of them were their clasped hands and interlocked fingers, both giving and receiving comfort from the other’s touch.

“I think,” Taekwoon said after a while, “More than anything else, I fight so hard so that I won’t have to face my other fear.”

Hongbin’s throat closed off, and he curled his hand tighter around Taekwoon’s.

“My fear of dying and leaving you behind with my pain in the drift,” Taekwoon whispered, and tears are leaking out of the corners of Hongbin’s eyes, running down the sides of his face and onto the corner of Taekwoon’s pillow.

“I know,” he choked out, willing himself to keep his voice steady. Taekwoon turned over and pulled Hongbin towards him again, a warm arm around his shoulders, his chin resting on top of his head as he tucked Hongbin closer to his chest. Hongbin sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. If he listened, he could feel Taekwoon’s heartbeat matching his own.

_Because my biggest fear is knowing you’ll feel my terror if you’re ever torn away from me._

They stayed with each other on the bed for a long time after that.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean to make it sad in the end, especially when Pacific Rim's theme was geared more towards hope and overcoming trials. Gosh, I love that movie so much, I ended up taking a break from writing and working to watch it again on a Sunday afternoon.
> 
> thanks for reading! ( * ́꒳`*)੭


End file.
